Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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