Yo dont text me then not text me
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
