That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
