Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
The adults are the big ones right?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
