she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
