The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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