At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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