Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize