great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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