Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
