Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You're like the curious george of whores
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize