THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
