everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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