I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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