I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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