You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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