yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize