If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize