Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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