are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
