I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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