Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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