Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It's blow job season.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
