my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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