Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
