she peed on how many people?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
