hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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