Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
We don't watch enough power rangers
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
