I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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