i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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