It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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