its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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