They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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