I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
