My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
