Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
