i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
