I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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