the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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