I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
