no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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