ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
