Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
