just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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