omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
