obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
