I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize