she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
