its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize