Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
