There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
