sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
