Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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