Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
