Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
