Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
