Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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