They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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