My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
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