I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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