wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize