I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Fuck appropriateness.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
