i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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