What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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