He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
