Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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